Ash's Buzzblade + Ash's Boomstick (New Items!)

Greetings, my fellow Murkans! Happy Content Drop Wednesday (sure, it's a mouthful, but have you considered: shut up)

Today I bring you a pair of new items (technically three items, but stick with me here): a god damned chainsaw, and a god damned sawn-off shotgun. They're not just great: they're groovy.

In our reimagining of Murka, we wanted to squeeze in even more references this time around, plus include some new options that just screeched "Murka" like a freedom dragon soaring over Washtown at dawn in front of a bunch of explosions. And what could be more Murkan than dual-wielding a chainsaw and a shotgun? Paying too much for healthcare, that's what. But that's a content drop for another Wednesday.

I grew up watching all kinds of horror movies, playing games like Gears of War, and in the past year, I also got to romp around in Space Marine 2 with one of the other writers. And how has all of that impacted me? It made me want to wield a chainsaw in a fantasy setting, turning goblins into goop.

But balancing a chainsaw in a magical world is hard, even conceptually. So we really had to work at what kind of role the weapon would have. We knew we wanted to add it as a mundane weapon first and foremost, so we started there, and balanced it against a great sword, keeping the damage relatively balanced. The bonus action spin-up is expensive, but once you pay that cost, it can spin up and start to outpace the great sword in the right situation (single-monster focus with combat longer than 3 rounds, if you were wondering).

And of course, once the mundane weapon was in place, seeing the chainsaw next to the shotgun was all it took before I knew we needed to get all Evil Dead up in this. I'm really happy with how these magical weapons turned out mechanically; they each stand on their own as significant improvements over their mundane counterparts, but when combined, they REALLY shine. Both weapons are two-handed by default, but with the simple sawing-off of the end of the gun barrel and one of your hands, you, too, can wield all the power of shopping smart, shopping S-Mart, in the palms of your hands! Err—hand, I suppose.

I hope you enjoy Ash's Buzzblade and Ash's Boomstick. Scroll down to the followers-only section for the full content.

Ash's Buzzblade. Once belonging to a retail-worker-turned-prophesied-paladin, this powerful implement of home gardening magitechnology has ripped more forces of darkness limb from limb than one can shake a boomstick at.

Ash's Boomstick. This double-barrel shotgun was originally built in Meshugghan, but did not gain its legendary status until wielded by the prophesied paladin who fought an army of darkness. In his hands, it became an unbelievably potent tool of destruction. Good? Bad? He was the guy with the gun.

My fellow Murkans,

The Facts (Which, I am told, care not about my feelings):

• Tariffs are going up and down like a rollercoaster, only way less fun and probably less likely to dislodge any kidney stones.
• We are too small to absorb these costs ourselves (there’s only like 4 of us on any given project, and none of us do Action Fiction stuff full time), and don't want to screw over people looking for fun ways to deal with their real world problems like slinging fireballs (in D&D, for legal reasons).
• Our hope is that if we hold out, things might stabilize and keep production costs down for us, and shipping costs down for everyone else. We will also be spending time soliciting quotes from printers and manufacturers that won't be affected by the tariffs.
• The first week of July is a more Murkan launch date anyway—just in time for Freedom Month™, when we can all celebrate by blowing things up. And of course I’m talking exclusively about fireworks. Again, for legal reasons.

What this means for you, a Real Murkan Hero:

• More time to stockpile snacks for the campaign. You guys remember twinkies? Holy shit twinkies are still a thing
• More time to convince your friends (and more importantly, your DM) that backing this campaign is essentially their civic duty.
• More new content for Ratified & Radified from Action Fiction! It's just about everyday that we come up with some ridiculous new idea that must see the light of day and are compelled to bring it to life. More days until we launch = more days where we are posessed by the D&D muse and give you guys even more stuff!
• More weekly preview content before we launch the campaign (this week we’re bringing you new magic items!)
• More time to hang out with us in our Discord Server and throw all your ridiculous ideas at us... Speaking of, check out the Potion Design Contest we're running starting TODAY through June 5th!

Subclass Overhaul: Path of Gains (Barbarian)

For many barbarians, their strength, their anger, comes from some outside force: a powerful totem, an ancestral guardian, a primal spirit. But for some, their strength comes from sheer determination, and their rage comes from their concentrated power of will... and whatever mysterious supplements they put in their brotein shake.

The Path of Gains is not for the faint of heart or weak of spirit; it’s for those who wish to lift big and get bigger. It’s for those beasts who chase the pump like their life depends on it. For those who meal prep religiously, who manage their macros—for those who don’t skip leg day. It’s about drive. It’s about power. It’s about pushing themselves to their absolute limit—and beyond.

Subclass Overhaul: Way of the Wild Ensemble (Monk)

Some monks devote themselves to lives of modesty, taking vows of silence, poverty, or chastity, making themselves an example to those outside their lifestyle that, through self-discipline and rigorous routine, anything is possible. Then, there are those who follow the Way of the Wild Ensemble. It doesn’t matter what their names are; these monks know the unstoppable power of showmanship. They have turned their bodies into monumental temples of muscle, designed to inspire the masses and strike fear into the hearts of their opponents. They are the cream of the crop, destined to rise to the top.

These practitioners attune themselves to the thoughts of the people, the heroes of old, and the stories that live in the hearts thereof. Often accumulating huge swaths of fans, they take their training no less seriously than any other martial artist, because for them, it isn’t just about laying the smackdown—it’s about drive. It’s about power. It’s about achieving and inspiring something far greater than themselves. It’s about being the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.

New Murka Content

Portable Hole Foods

First up is something extremely near and dear to my heart: Portable Hole Foods. Some of you may know that this was one of the very first concepts we had conceived of when we began our journey writing Monsters of Murka: Restaurants & Retail back in 2020. The writing process to create that book was so much fun that Portable Hole Foods sort of got lost in the mix, fell out of the book, and was accidentally kicked under the refrigerator. Brad and I have dusted it off, and we're cramming it back into the book in the Garnished Gardens section of Flavor City.

Getting to finally include this in the book is a personal victory for me, and I hope you all hate love it.

Critical Roll