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My fellow Murkans,

Quick update: WE ARE ONE WEEK FROM LAUNCH!

Gunchucks (Reworked Ranged Weapon)

Greetings, my fellow Murkans! Happy Content Drop Wednesday (WE ARE SO BACK)

Today I am stoked to bring back a true Murkan classic, the mechanics of which we have completely overhauled to tighten them up and make them all the more clear, easy to understand, and (if you'll forgive the D&D pun), versatile. I give to you: Gunchucks. (We debated longer than you can imagine on whether or not to call them Gunchaku, but ultimately decided that would be far too accurate a name for the Average Murkan to comprehend, lmao)

What could be more satisfying than whipping around one of the most iconic, if extremely ineffective, weapons from every action movie ever, then combining it with a true icon of Murkan living so that it can beat baddies and plant freedom seeds? I don't know the answer to this question, and it keeps me up at night!

When we first designed this weapon, we really wanted to make something very over the top and ridiculous, something that captured the "I can't believe this thing really exists" feeling of Murka. We fell in love with the imagery of scoring a critical hit swinging it around, and imagining the chuck firing off and hitting some other bad guy like you totally meant to do that.

We also included a new weapon property we gave to our firearms, called Backfire. This is designed for all my gambling goblins (gamblins?) out there who love high risk, high reward play. Pro-tip: Don't give your 1st-level wizard a pair of Gunchucks, as they may incidentally self-immolate. Speaking from experience.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the Gunchucks. No need to scroll down this time; the image above is all the Gunchuck text we've got!

Launch is a mere seven days away! 🗓️

Potion Contest

Read the submissions for the potion design finalists below! ⬇️

• Draught of the Sho'tg'un
  • This oddly shaped potion container is filled with iron pellets, which somehow float inside the frothing golden liquid. The precise and ancient technique to properly utilize this potion has been passed down through secretive brotherhoods for generations. Cracking the bottom of the potion and drinking the contents as quickly as possible allows the drinker to then exhale a torrent of burning liquid and solid iron pellets, dealing fire and piercing damage in a 15ft cone. The drinker, however, must make a dexterity saving throw or take a small amount of slashing damage, due to improper technique.
• Garry's Brew
  • This purple brew with black cubes floating in it has been described as being bizarre to drink, the cubes lacking any sort of mouthfeel, not many people expect to eat something missing a texture. For effect, you gain resistance to bludgeoning damage and can cast the Feign Death spell on yourself as a reaction to taking a hit. When casting it in this way, you become immune to bludgeoning damage, and you can end the spell's effect without using an action.
• Metagamer's Delight
  • This long-discontinued line of soft drinks comes in a bottle so old you could swear it's imbued with some sort of magical cocaine. Which, to be fair, is quite possible considering the effects of it. Printed on the front side of the label are the name and motto, paired with a cartoonish depiction of the current Game Master holding the product. The ingredients portion of the label has been scraped off entirely, probably to avoid the full might of FDA regulation, which, to be frank, is equivalent to being whacked by that one annoying toddler with a pool noodle who watched a bit too much Star Wars. When this potion is ingested, the character will, for 1 minute, gain sight into the 'IRL' or 'Earth' plane, and will be able to see and communicate with their eldritch masters above (the players) in all their unwashed glory. Optional Rule: The character must make a successful DC 12+ (2 for every player in the room that hasn't recently showered, bathed, or otherwise emits an unpleasant odor) constitution save, or be poisoned for 1 minute.
• Lava in a Bottle
  • Originally pioneered by the controversial Crowd Warlock Isjasa Peranks, this clever potion appears to contain churning magma and is even hot in your palm, however, a close inspection will reveal the silvery wisps of the illusionary liquid within. As an Action you can throw this potion up to 30 feet away, where it will explode into a 20-foot radius sphere of boiling hot magma. This magma will “burn” and “scorch” what it coats, and will give off immense heat and bubble and hiss angrily, but in reality, is illusionary in nature and is completely harmless. Physical interaction reveals the true nature of the “lava,” but a DC13 Intelligence (Investigation) check can also be made to ascertain its true nature. The illusion fades after 10 minutes, where it becomes a nonmagical, faintly translucent white liquid that is remarkably difficult to remove from carpets and rugs.
• Refreshie of Shrewd Shenanigans
  • This delightful drink is a favorite amongst Chromatic Archivists, but is on the super-duper-ultra-secret menu only! Behaves mechanically like other refreshies as far as sizing, but the would-be imbiber must roll a Constitution save to see whether they can actually finish it, because it’s heccing sugary! Chromatic Archivists & Lettered Dragons get Advantage on this Constitution save. (Optionally, other select demographics may also be granted Advantage on that Constitution save via unanimous consent of all players and the DM for the relevant campaign.) Those who successfully down their entire container of this implausibly sweet beverage (which smells ever so faintly of citrus) receive advantage on all Charisma checks, excluding Intimidation, until the potion effect expires. On a failed attempt, their mood sours, and they instead receive the bonus ONLY for Intimidation. Side effects (optional): verbal communication by those who drink this potion abruptly includes a great many uses of alliteration and/or puns.

And check out the amazing art finalists! ⬇️

Quick update: WE ARE TWO WEEKS FROM LAUNCH!

Sir Valence (New CR 24 Monster)

Greetings, my fellow Murkans! Happy Content Drop Whatever Day I Say It Is, Sucks To Suck (Get Rekt Nerds) (That's the new official title)

Today I am OVERWHELMINGLY excited to share with you all the new big bad of Monsters of Murka: Arcana Americana. While this creature may resemble eye-stalked abberations from other, more coastal settings, this construct is a malevolent machine of his own making. Meet Sir Valence.

This guy was SO much fun to design. We knew we wanted to create a new BBEG that was bigger-er and badder-er, to match this edition of Murka, and Sir Valence is all that and a bag of microchips.

We also wanted a villain that was a bit more timeless, a bit more of a commentary on the problematic system at large, rather than any one symptom. A surveillance state, an overly authoritative body of government, a construct that believes itself infallible and tugs at the strings of a puppet named democracy? Now THAT'S what Murka is all about. (If you read that in the voice of those "Now THAT'S What I Call Music" commercials, it's time to take an ibuprofen for your back pain)

A lot of the mechanical effects at play here revolve around crowd control in all its many definitions, with plenty of psychic damage to go around. He's perfect for the villain of a long-term campaign, since he can ALWAYS watch the party. Those post-credit narrative moments you give to your players before ending a session where you highlight a betentacled camera emerging from a wall and watching them is sure to give your players chills.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy Sir Valence. Scroll down to the followers-only section for the full content.